Monday, March 7, 2011

battle of wills

Since Nash's birth I always had this preconceived notion that maybe, possibly God would give me a quiet one... maybe. God please. A quiet one. Little did I know this was actually a life long test of my patience, sanity, and will... among many other character flaws. Yesterday proved to be one of the largest battle of wills I have ever gone through to date. This child, who is not yet 2, has given me a run for my money. No lie. He was determined to make all heads turn and stare in awe in church yesterday. To the untrained ear one might have thought I was tearing his insides out with my bare hands, or maybe I was breaking all the bones in his body, or that I had made him sit. In church. HOW DARE I!? Yes. It was indeed the latter. I attempted to make my 2-year-old Beast sit. On his tush. In church. I done it. I confess.

While Sundays before this have also been quite a challenge, nothing prepared me for what happened yesterday. I always know attending church with Dave while he has to read is going to be a test of my patience but yesterday started immediately upon walking into church and only escalated from there. And Nash was going to win. Or so he thought.

Taking a quick breather in this story because even typing it now makes me a little... hot...

Okay... Nash quit the Sippy cold turkey a couple weeks back. This Sippy is usually our go-to-man in church on Sundays. But what might have been something to keep me from running out of church to get away from his screaming previously ... is now no longer... R.I.P. Sippy. So the only thing to keep Nash quiet yesterday during church was... wait, I couldn't figure it out because it was his little joke on Mom... NOTHING WILL KEEP ME QUIET. Ha Ha. Funny. MY Mommmm is reading this laughing saying "Pay back! PAY BACK!!!" I'm not laughing... ANYWAY!

Church was about to start. Screaming began. One adolescent actually turned around to give me a dirty look... I may or may not have had some non-Catholic thoughts run through my head for a second, butttt...I'll work on that! Nash, Drew, and I exited to the back. Father asked if he should take him up front with him. I laughed. Father asked again. I said... "He. Will. Scream." Not kidding. Like... the entire time, he will scream. Father began Mass. I attempted to make Nash sit while holding Drew. Screaming. The congregation sang. More screaming. I sat and attempted to make him sit next to me. Mean Mom. Screaming. LOUD SCREAMING. Thrashing. Dying. Yes, he thought he was dying. I quite honestly don't remember if Dave actually read in church yesterday but he came and saved Drew. And then, THEN stuff went down. Then it was serious business. The Beast thought I would stand with him. No sir. He was going to sit in church and if he didn't already know, yesterday was going to be the day he learned who the boss was!

It was a rough battle and I can't say I thought we were both going to make it out alive. At one point Dave sent Lia to the back to tell me it was just too loud... I'll spare you the gory details but it ended in the two of us sitting on the bathroom floor... in a daze. In a stupor. Staring off into the unknown. After what felt like hours, we came out of the bathroom in one piece, sat in the back of church quietly, and at that moment I knew I had defeated...The Beast.

Now everyone has to say a prayer every day of this week that Sunday will be THE best Sunday we've ever had because BY GOD I'm not sure I can do that again. After we got home, Dave and I agreed Nash's episode in church was not unlike Austyn recovering from general anesthetic a few years ago (aka... a drug addicts withdrawal). I hope never to see thrashing and screaming like that again in my lifetime!
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